Friday, January 7, 2011

performance appraisal

When I feel good at my job, it makes working so much more enjoyable. I know that I am usually pretty good at my job, but sometimes I can feel like things are not going well if I don't have my hand in some sort of leadership or innovative something or other. I have no idea why it is like this for me. Perhaps I am insecure. I have no idea, but I know that being recognized by others makes me feel good about myself and it is quite motivating. But I guess it is probably like that for a lot of people.

Quite a while ago, a book came out, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I never read it, but I know that it talks about people's tendencies to give love and receive love. The five categories are, gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time and acts of service. Without a shadow of a doubt I receive love by words of affirmation. Although I love the others, I know that I feel the most love when people affirm me with words.

With all of this being said, I had a pretty good day today. First of all, I am the only one who I work with that is qualified to do my job. As stupid and silly as it sounds, it makes me feel special. The best part is, is that I felt like it was recognized today. I actually felt appreciated a few times today, so it was a really, really good day.

Here's the catch though, I can only take so much. I have a friend who compliments the heck out of me and I often feel so embarrassed. Today I went to dinner with two friends who are both at least 40 years my senior and they both just kept complimenting me. I didn't mean to, but I finally said, "shut up"...I seriously couldn't take it. I didn't mean to say it but the words just fell out of my mouth. I wanted them to stop as quickly as possible. It's a good thing they are friends, no feelings were hurt and I'm glad for that.

Although, now that I am writing this, I am realizing that perhaps it wasn't so bad to be over-complimented because I am still considering this to be a really, really good day. I guess it didn't affect me too much to be over-complimented. However, I do need to find a way to self-regulate a little better and feel good about the work that I do without the help of others. Any ideas anyone?

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